


The Defector

by stjaninaro



Category: Depeche Mode
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 03:56:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stjaninaro/pseuds/stjaninaro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leaving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Defector

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LiveJournal in February 2011.  
> My take on Alan's leaving the band.

***   
  
“I’m sorry Alan, we couldn’t get a hold of Dave.”  
  
Alan sighed and rubbed a weary hand over his face. “That’s alright Dan, you tried.”  
  
“So what do you want to do now?” Daniel observed him over the rim of his glasses. He looked tired, and disappointed, but somehow resigned. Like he’d already known they wouldn’t be able to find Dave. “Do you still want to go ahead with this tomorrow?”  
  
“I have to.” Alan replied simply. “I can’t put it off any longer. I made my decision, and I’m sticking to it.”  
  
Daniel nodded and looked away. Clearing his throat, he addressed his next words to the blank wall behind Alan. “You know I don’t want you to do it.”  
  
“I know.” Alan smiled at him sadly. “But please don’t ask me not to.”  
  
Meeting Alan’s steady gaze, Daniel was surprised at the depth of sadness he saw in the clear blue eyes. He reached over the desk and clasped Alan’s shoulder firmly in his hand. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”  
  
He leaned back in his chair, breaking the contact. “I told Mart and Andy to be here at three. The office will be empty, I’ve made sure of it.”  
  
“Thanks Dan.” Alan said, standing up. He held out his hand.  
  
Lurching to his feet, Daniel ignored his outstretched hand, and instead pulled him into a tight hug. After a moment’s hesitation, he felt Alan’s arms come around him to return the embrace.  
  
Alan huffed out a laugh as he stepped back. “Fucks sake, it’s not like we’re never going to see each other again. We’ll still talk. And like it or not, Recoil is on your label. You’ll have to deal with me in one way or another.”  
  
“True.” Daniel smiled.   
  
“They’re going to be so angry.”  
  
Daniel raised an eyebrow at him. “Could you blame them?” At Alan’s downcast gaze, he softened his tone. “They’ll be angry at first Al, but they’ll understand. Eventually.”  
  
Alan suddenly looked unsure, like there was something he wanted to ask, but wasn’t quite sure how.  
  
“They’ll be ok, Alan.”  
  
“What if they’re not?” Alan asked in a small voice. “What if they’re not, Dan?”  
  
“They  _will_ be. I know they’re all in a bad place right now –same as you.” Dan smiled in what he hoped was a comforting way. “And like you, they’ll figure out their breaking points, and they’ll do something to fix it.”  
  
“Do you really think they  _can_?”  
  
“I have to believe they can, Alan.”  
  
“I hope you’re right.” Alan whispered, finally looking up at him. Taking a deep breath he turned to leave. He opened the door and stepped out, pausing with his hand still on the handle. “Dan?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Just... when they tell you they hate me. Don’t tell me. Please.”   
  
Daniel didn’t answer immediately, taken aback at the heartfelt plea. He’d heard the tiniest tremor in Alan’s voice. He settled for a simple nod, knowing Alan would catch the movement in the corner of his eye.  
  
“Thank you.” Was Alan’s quiet response, before he pulled the office door shut behind him and strode down the corridor, tugging his leather jacket closer around him.  
  
***


End file.
